a deeply personal revelation... and an ending...

I don't think I have the desire left in me to continue this blog. I came back from baja a happy man, looking forward to the end of the summer when I would be overjoyed to re-unite once again with Trisha and Nandi after their adventure and her opportunity to find peace and quiet in which to write.

Things have a way of changing when people are apart from each other, sometimes for the worse - and I now have to consider a life without either of them gracing it with their presence. Trisha has decided to make a change, and has started a new relationship with someone she met after I left. This has hung over me for the last month or so, as I wrestled with many things, including the idea that we weren't really successful together from the beginning, and this was inevitable. It doesn't offer much comfort knowing this may be true, because I have loved her deeply for over 14 years, and she has been the best and closest friend I will probably ever know.

I think it hit home when I tried to call her cell phone down in baja. Feeling a bit melancholy, and really needing to hear her voice, I was brought swiftly back to reality when I heard a man's voice on her phone's message, saying to leave a message for Trisha. There's not much room for reaching out to someone you miss, when the special place you shared is now nothing but a memory, and you find yourself on the outside, looking in.

With this deeply personal matter being buried inside my chest for some time now, it's time I addressed it outwardly, and give up the hope that our summer will end up as I had hoped, and lived for. I have no more desire to continue this baja story, so it ends here, as I pick up the pieces and try to look in a new direction... It won't be easy.

Adios,
Phil